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Straight Illin/Transcript
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Okay, here we go, here we go. "I'm Ms. Baker. I love to drink coffee. I drink so much coffee. " Okay, okay. I got one. Clarence, I dare you to put this spoon on your head! Hello, there. I am Spoonman. Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! - Hmm. -Oh, that's not even a real dare. I dare you to kiss Kimby. Ohhh. - Ooh! You did it! - Yeah! You did it! I can't believe you actually kissed a girl. Eh, I guess that counts, even though it was just on the elbow. - My turn! I dare you to drink this - Hey! and this out of this! Ooh. I don't care. I've probably drank worse than that every day. - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Wow! Yeah! Since when is Clarence Mr. Popular? I don't know. I think he's kind of funny. Close your mouth. He's not funny I'm funny. - Yeah, funny-looking. - You got owned! All right, more dares, guys. Keep 'em coming. - I - I got a dare for you. I dare you to eat 500 deviled eggs. Ohhh! Well, it seems that Clarence's little show has come to a close. You should've seen his face. So, what are you guys doing this weekend? I'm going to that Clarence kid's "eggy dare extravaganza" thing. What?! Give it. "Tomorrow at Clarence's yard, Belson presents 'see the amazing Clarence eat 500 eggs'"? - Hi, Belson. - The heck?! As one of your closest acquaintances, I have to advise you that eating this much of anything can be seriously hazardous to your - Clarence! Clarence! - health. Quiet down! Quiet down! It has been foretold that, - one day, a deviled egg - Just eat the eggs already! Told you he'd chicken out. Well, time to put my eggs where my mouth is. Waka, waka, waka, waka. Number one. I'll go prep the bucket. - Eat those eggs! - Clarence! Clarence! Oh. - 497. - I-It's impossible. - N-Nobody can eat that many eggs. - 499. Ah, yeah. - Belson, you're hogging it. - Hyah! Jeff, Jeff. I'm open. Throw it over here. What are What are you guys playing? What is that? Cornhole? Uh, Clarence, are you sure you're feeling all right? Yeah, maybe you should sit this one out. That's okay. Okay, guys, I think I got a horn in my backpack somewhere. We can do some pranks. Just let me Uh Clarence. You're not looking so hot. Come on, guys. I'm fine. No, we're actually just finishing up, anyway. I got to go home and organize some receipts. Yeah, I'm supposed to eat dinner now. I got to go, too. Your face looks gross. Why's everybody acting so weird? I'll show them. I'm fit as a fiddle. Yeah, he didn't look so good. Do you think making Clarence eat 500 deviled eggs that sat out in the sun was a bad idea? I'm not even going to respond to that. Ew! You guys, no more buddy stars. I stayed up all night making these Clarence dollars. Didn't you already make those like a hundred years ago? Oh, well, let me just see what other wacky props I got in this bag here. Let me just I think I got a I think I got a horn or something in here. Ah-choo! Uh Clarence, you don't look so well. Um, you should probably go see the nurse. Nonsense. I'm doing fine. Let me just Let me just go sit down. - I'm just gonna go sit. - Okay. Uh, then, so I mean it. I'm starting to worry about him. Who knows what all those eggs are doing in there, just smashing around in his organs? We got to get him to go see the nurse. - It's for his own good. - Aw, you're right. - What's that, Sumo? - I said you're right. I know I am. Yeah, yeah, so what's the big plan, Mr. Right all the time? Okay, here's what we do. I am the Spoonman. Uh, here we go. Oh. Hey, Kimby. Look at me over here. Ohh. Target acquired. Initiate sequence alpha. What?! He's in the lunchroom! Just do the thing! I can't hear you! It's too loud in here! I think I got lost! Jeff! Jeff! Aw, stupid walkie-talkie! Jeff. Abort! Sumo, abort! Uh, Jeff, my darling What are you doing? Jeff, I'm totally lost! Come get me! Is that Sumo I hear? I want to go get Sumo, too. I want to play. Jeff! I don't know where I am! Dang it! Jeff, Jeff, Jeff! What are you guys playing? Is it duck, duck, goose? I can I can be the goose. Ohh! Quack, quack. I'm a goose. Quack, quack. I'm the goose. Quack, quack, Jeff. Wait. I want to play, too. Jeff? Jeff? Jeff! J-Jeff! Aw! - Sumo! - Jeff? You got to keep going! Clarence is after me! - Come on! Move, Sumo! - I can't! I'm stuck! I see you Ah-choo! From sea to shining sea Testing, testing. Hmm. - Jeff, don't leave me! - Let me go! Duck, duck, goose! - You need to help Clarence. - He's pretty sick. All three of you look sick. But, uh, you'll have to get in line. Thanks a lot, Clarence. Now everyone's sick. - Sorry. - Hey, everyone! You guys want to see the craziest thing? I'm gonna eat 600 scrambled eggs! Attention, students. School is cancelled for the rest of the week, due to a nasty egg virus. Ah-choo. Yeah, Clarence! Yeah! You did it! Look at me, guys! Boy wonder Belson eats 600 scrambled eggs! Look! Look at me, guys! Category:Transcripts